Doesn't it stink when a productive, upbeat day turns into an unsettled, bluesy kind of night?
This was my fate today.
My proverbial dirty laundry has been piling up and today it started to stink. I couldn't avoid it any longer. Forced to look at it - I feel defeated. Why did I let that pile get so big? I'm sure I had my reasons.
Priorities. They persist, don't they? And cars? They stop working when you don't maintain them. In case you didn't know.
I'm starting to think that I have an unhealthy relationship with cars. Yes, automobiles. Not all of them. Just the ones I own. Our affairs always end badly. And it's not the cars' fault. It's mine.
It really does suck to step back and observe yourself repeating behaviors that have not served you well in the past.
If there were two of me, this is the point where I would look myself square in the eyes and say, "This time, learn the lesson." I'd give myself a hug and a kiss and tell me that I loved me.
This is of the utmost importance - to love yourself, your flaws, your mistakes, your whole blunderous self. We all have unhealthy relationships with something, don't we?
In addition to motor vehicles (and their related administrations), I have unhealthy relationships with confrontation, math homework, and anything that requires planning. Among other things.
I suppose that depression doesn't choke hold me like it used to because I don't see any of my flaws as fatal. We shouldn't over-emphasize these things that we think are so bad. They're not. Inconvenient. Sometimes embarrassing. But not fatal.
Boris Pasternak, a Russian poet and author said, "I don't like people who have never fallen or stumbled. Their virtue is lifeless and it isn't of much value. Life hasn't revealed its beauty to them."
I've stumbled a lot. So, I should feel fortunate that life has revealed so much beauty to me, right? :)