30 Ways to Stand Out Without Showing Off (Part II)

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True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.

 - Edward Frederick Halifax
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You might be reading this series and thinking that these tips have nothing to do with standing out and everything to do with being boring.  Where's the shock factor?  Where's the glam?  Well, there's a time and place to use those things and that's always up to your discretion. 

From your vantage point, it may seem that over-the-top-ness is the only way to be noticed these days.  And if your personality is genuinely larger than life, then by all means you have to let that energy flow.  But my purpose here is to remind you of the T's you should cross and the I's you should dot to be a well-rounded, conscientious person who knows how to channel that crazy energy effectively.  Let's face it, the things we did at 21 to stand out are quite different than the things we should do in our late twenties and beyond. 

When difficult situations come up, when people spend time with you or work with you -- your character will reveal itself.  What you know and don't know about building relationships will reveal itself.  When you meet a love interest, they will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.  And I want to help you be aware of the little things that will be noticed, that will differentiate you and showcase your inner beauty. 

For those of us who are more quiet and restrained, my goal is to give you confidence that you can still shine and be impactful in your own way.  Oliver Herford said, "...modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending to not be aware of it."   Don't underestimate yourself because you are quiet, but don't be afraid of your wild side either.  I know you have one.  Bring it out when you need to. 

In the meantime, I've got ten more ways that we can all stand out without acting out.  As a reminder, this series is about peeling back our layers of defense mechanisms so we can attract the kind of attention that we want from men, friends, colleagues, clients, prospects, you name it. I'm talking about how to manifest attractive energy in your life - without having to show off or be unnatural.

{1} Be emotionally intelligent. One aspect of emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on. Why is this so important? Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

{2} Develop a strong work ethic. Whatever it is you do, put your best intentions into it. Practice and seek opportunities to enhance your skills. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who genuinely cares about what they do and how they do it.

{3} Be reliable. You can’t build a good reputation when no one can count on you to follow through on your promises. Sometimes we just can’t do everything that we’d like to do. I’m learning to undercommit and overdeliver whenever possible.

{4} Accept people for who they are. My strongest personal and professional relationships are with people who allow me to be myself and who don’t try to change me to suit themselves. Our task in our relationships is not to fix one another. Our job is to support one another in doing better.

{5} Do things that make you happy. It’s easy to get in a slump when you’ve busied yourself with so much stuff that you have no time for what you really love. When you do things you love, you come alive and you glow.  As a natural result -- happy, glowy things are then drawn to you.

{6} Be self-directed. Question things. Unlearn things.  Find a path of your own choosing. If you want to be fulfilled in this world you have to disregard some of the well-meaning (and sometimes not so much) advice that people habitually pass along to each other. And then, guess what? You can be that kid on the left, doing her own thing and teaching by example that there’s not one definition of success that suits everyone.

{7} Stick up for people. Don’t allow anyone to be mistreated on your watch. Instead of joining in on the negativity, learn how to smoothly redirect the energy of a group and keep things constructive.

{8} Be open to new things. When you let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers, you can listen and learn and productively work with other people even when you don’t agree with every opinion they have. With this attitude, more people will be clamoring to work with you.

{9} Don’t be afraid to talk about what you believe in.  Whatever you feel passionate about, don’t be afraid to share it. You could inspire someone or even save someone’s life or start a revolution, you never know.

{10} Don’t dumb yourself down. I know that you’re gorgeous and I know that you’re smart. And I know that some of you may even feel the need to downplay yourselves to make others feel comfortable. Don’t.  Why not shine, instead?  This is about standing out, right?

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If you enjoyed this article and don't want to miss the next, be sure to SUBSCRIBE and why not while you're at it?  You can read Part I here and please stay tuned for Part III and giveaway details tomorrow.  Thanks a million times over for reading!  xo

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