Monday, August 5, 2013

15 Ways to Kill Your Spirit Ever So Slowly


"While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness." | Gilda Radner

1 – Pretend you don’t care. Tell yourself that you’re a realist and that dreams and visions and inspirational mumbo jumbo are wastes of time. Acquire things that don't fulfill you and wonder why you feel empty. Believe that life's a bitch and then you die. Numb your way through life.

2 – See your life as a to-do list instead of an adventure. Busy yourself with busy-ness. Be 100% predictable. Never be late because you were making love.  Never change your mind.  Never turn left instead of right just to see what's down that street.  Never get up on the bar and dance. Worship risk aversion.

3 – Take your life for granted. Focus all of your attention on lack. Overlook your blessings and cry about what's missing. Obsess over closed doors.  Don't value what you are, only value what you are not.

4 – Tell yourself you’ll be happy when... you’re married, when your debt is paid off, when you get a new job, when that person gets what they deserve, when you find your passion, when hell freezes over. Don’t celebrate now. Don’t choose happiness. Wait for everything to be perfect.

5 – Save your good panties for a special occasion. Buy your favorite perfume and never wear it. Deny yourself simple pleasures. Live in a dollhouse with pretty things, fake smiles and no emotion.

6 – Cling to the past. Its relationships, its pain, its pleasure, its illusions. Don’t let go when it’s time. Hold on so you can’t appreciate the here and now.

7 – Spend time with toxic people. Let them fill your mind with their fears and limitations. Get sucked in.  Drink their poison.  Feel sick. Put out your flame so as not to shine in their darkness.

8 – Don’t say what you need to say. Hold in your true feelings. Say you're OK when you're not. Hide it all away.  Bury it.  Die with it.

9 – Be judgmental.  Make assumptions and be defensive. Criticize others the way you criticize yourself all day every day. If you can't escape it then why should they?

10 – Beat yourself up daily. Don’t forgive yourself. Live in fear of making a mistake. Attack from all angles -- call yourself names, eat your feelings, let people mistreat you, abuse money.  Kill, kill, kill.

11 – Spend your life looking for someone to complete you. Believe you aren't whole by yourself and that you can't be in love with yourself.  Settle for whoever will take you because it's better than being alone.

12 – Envy your neighbor. Compare yourself and count everyone’s blessings before your own. Tell yourself that you have bad luck and are worse off than everyone else.  Think that your life would be better if you were someone else.

13 – Hold grudges. Lots of them. Don’t let anything go. Don’t let anyone get anything over on you ever.  Always have the last word.  Punish and destroy. They won't like you when you're angry.  Make them pay.

14 – People-please your way into oblivion. Change yourself to receive approval. Be overly responsible, be everything to everyone, until you self-destruct.

15 - Don't be yourself.  Don't discover yourself. Avoid the journey within. Believe that your flesh and bones are all that you are.  This world, all that there is.


  1. This was too helpful
    I'm so guilty of people-pleasing I don't know how to say No.

  2. How on point was this? I just wrote a similar list last week. I'm going to post it... :)

  3. Girl this is a GREAT list! #sharing

  4. I live vicariously through others...often...finding myself thinking about what it would be like to be them. I think I have done it most of my life. Sometimes I need to remind myself (or be reminded) that I am on the journey of SELF now...and I should be doing and not looking/hoping/wishing and feeling sorry for my self.
    Thank you for the (daily) reminder!

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  6. MsSuperSoulFighterAugust 11, 2013 at 3:54 PM

    You are really a wonderful soul! I feel like you literally live in my head. I am constantly in despair and feeling desperate or anxious because I realised not so long ago that I display these kinds of self destructive traits, but the scary part is being so consumed with the anger and disgust @ oneself for being all these things thus preventing from allowing me to grow past these to become a better person again. I really need help with this and will continue reading your blog to help push me back on the path of recovery whenever I veer back into my old horrible habits. It scares me how dark my mind had become and what a toxin I had become to myself, but it brings me great comfort to know someone else understands these kinds of struggles with self. I don't want to live as a bitter, angry, jaded, scared and insecure person any longer. What's sad is I always though I was stronger than this, but something tells me that the fact that I can admit it and keep trying let's me know that I truly am stronger than this and I will find my way again... Thank you for your post. Love and blessings to you!

  7. I really love this piece. All young women should read this before leaving high school. These are all things that I always knew but never had anyone spell out for me. Seeing it in writing would have helped me find peace a lot earlier in life.