DAY TWO
So here you are, exploring self-care and seeking out inspiration for your journey. I celebrate you for choosing yourself. When and where did you learn how to do that — to take care of your soul?
Think about images from earlier in your life. What memories do you have of the adults in your life engaging in self-care? Did anyone set an example for you? The cool thing is, you might not have even thought about it as self-care at the time. It might’ve looked like a hobby, an obsession, or a weird ritual, but now you know that these things held a deeper meaning.
Whether we are taught to do it or we figure it out on our own, we have to learn how to start choosing ourselves and doing what makes us happy — without guilt. For many of us, that requires some unlearning and reconditioning. Some mental health professionals refer to it as parenting ourselves.
These are some of the challenges we face in the process:
Understanding self-care in theory but struggling to cross the bridge from knowing to actively practicing what we know.
Finding the discipline to commit to healthy habits that do not provide immediate results.
Embracing the idea that healing and renewal are needed daily, not every now and then, to keep us resilient against the challenges we face.
Being gentle and compassionate with ourselves is key. I love the concept of parenting ourselves because it repositions the idea I once had about being damaged and needing to be fixed. I realize now that I’m not fixing myself, I’m learning to care for myself consciously, which is a totally different thing.
self-love in action
Around thirty, I became restless. I felt uninspired and wanted a life-changing experience. I found a creative outlet through writing and that path changed my life. I began to give a voice to all the layers I’d suppressed over the years. In my thirties, I learned how to love myself, shadows and all. Self-love allowed me to acknowledge my need for healing and expression.
But in many ways, my life did not change, because my habits didn't change. I may have found my calling, but I had not learned how to manage my emotions and my moods were still running my life. When your moods run your life, you make decisions that feel good in the short-term but hurt you in the long-run.
One of the key concepts I share in my creative self-discovery workshops is the idea of alignment. The idea is that we are at our best when our thoughts, beliefs, and actions reflect our authentic truths and don’t contradict each other. That means when we say we love ourselves, it shows up in our actions and the way we handle ourselves.When you say you love yourself, and your actions don’t agree, there is always an opportunity for healing and growth within the contradiction. Self-love helps us embrace that complexity. Self-care is self-love in action.
changing the narrative
How many times have you asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” That's a disempowering question that takes us out of alignment. Self-love asks questions like, "What do I need right now? How do I get back to my center?" Its time to change old narratives and continue to evolve.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Reflect on the questions in the text as well as below and share your thoughts in the comments below.
reflection questions
What challenges have you faced in your adult life when it comes to recognizing and honoring your unique needs?
What does self-love mean to you?
How does self-love show up in your daily routine?