Kimberly // Soulful Beauty of the Week

 

"The most challenging aspect of being a woman is balancing Love + Career. When it comes to love, I guess I was once naive to think that love would be easy. From what I remembered, Disney only told me that two people would fall in love, overcome an obstacle, and come out living and loving happily ever after. Ehh, wrong answer.

 

Where they do that at?! Oh -- in Fairy Tales."

 

| Kimberly

 

*Describe your a-ha moment.

My greatest a-ha moment would have to be when I realized that I didn't have to please everyone. I've always been quite the perfectionist and with that also came some random desire to always want to make people happy when it came to me, what they thought of me, and my performance.

 

But when I went away to college, and was finally by myself doing my own thing, I realized Aha! I don't have to please anyone but myself. I can be fearless and free-spirited because at the end of the day, this is my life to claim, no one else's. And ever since then, I've been able to do and live in a way that is most pleasing to myself (and God). I've come to accept that I'm not perfect and that I will never be (in the eyes of the world that is)! And I'm okay with that and I welcome every imperfection with open arms and lots of band-aids!

*What’s your best piece of woman-to-woman advice?
Spend at least a year dating yourself and you'll be much more confident with yourself! Find out the source of your happiness because when you do, you'll never feel that you have to depend on anyone else to be the source of it. And most importantly, accept that life will have its ups and downs. I like to compare my life to an EKG. Without the ups and the downs, I wouldn't have life. Too much of any high or any low will only cause me to flatline.

 

*What has been your favorite mistake?
All of the mistakes I made my freshman year of college. I felt defeated when I didn't understand how college worked - for example, I didn't know that we had to make our own schedules, nor did I know the importance of email. I remember my freshman friends talking about their class schedules and me being like: wait, how do you guys know what classes you're taking?  They basically explained to me that an email was sent stating that we had to meet with our advisors to start making our schedules a week prior. It was a wakeup call for me that proved that I no longer was going to have things taught to me and that initiative would be crucial in order to succeed! Ever since then, I womaned up (for the most part) and always made it a point to ask questions and to be on top of my game!

*So far, what has been the most challenging aspect of being a woman?
The most challenging aspect of being a woman is balancing Love + Career. When it comes to love, I guess I was once naive to think that love would be easy. From what I remembered, Disney only told me that two people would fall in love, overcome an obstacle, and come out living and loving happily ever after. Ehh, wrong answer. Where they do that at?! Oh -- in Fairy Tales.

The confusion that comes along with individuals not wanting to fully commit, women feeling as if love is a competition, and social media's effect on relationships is all a bit much. So my young-minded focus has now changed and my career is now my main priority. Which brings me to the second most challenging aspect: Career.

I have met a lot of professionals that I've considered to be potential mentors. However, our mentorships have been compromised simply because they were interested in me more physically than anything else. It does give me a disadvantage because not only do I lose those male influences as mentors but I also lose potential job opportunities. Being a woman is quite a job but never compromise your values and morals in an attempt to get ahead. You'll never win when you pay with your soul.   

 

 

 

 *What do you not want us to know?

I have a weird phobia of holes. As a kid, I've seen creepy things come out of holes -- whether that be mice at an abandoned building or mushrooms out of a hole in the ground (gag) they just really freak me out. So a hole of any sort gives me the heeby-jeebies. Don't judge my honesty. =P.

*When do you feel most creative? What inspires you?
My life experiences and curiosities inspire me the most. I blog, write, and share anything I'm curious about and everything I've experienced. I'm quite the researcher, so I like to read about a lot of different things and I also like to find out why and how things work. All of these things, fuel me to create!

*What does it mean to you to be a soulful beauty?
A Soulful Beauty, to me, is someone who is so rich in her spirit that nothing can shake her. Her soul and spirit are so alive that it is not only seen by others, but it is also felt!

*What is your favorite quote, scripture or affirmation? 
"There is no greater agony, than bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou

Name: Kimberly

Blog: http://www.KimberlyLuxe.com

Twitter:  @KimberlyLuxe

Instagram:  @KimberlyLuxe

Something I Want You to Know

source

I officially have 4 more weeks of working my day job, and I'm completely and utterly swamped.  For all the people who asked me why I can't write and coach part time while I continue to work my current job full time -- this is exactly why.  I started taking on coaching clients about a month ago and the combination of that work, plus my day work, plus writing and maintaining my blog -- and oh, having children, a family and a life has been too much.  Atleast now I know this, right?  This just adds to my conviction about why I've decided to do this my way. No one can tell you how or when or why.  You just know.  You know?

Anyway, for the next 4 weeks, please bear with me as I try to juggle it all.  I do have a mini-vacay in the middle of it all that I'm looking forward to, so life is full of work and play which is exactly how I like it. 

Many of you are new-ish to the blog, so for today's inspiration I wanted to highlight some older posts that you may have missed.  And then tomorrow, I've got some soulful beauty coming your way.  I hope your week is off to a great start!   xoxo

{woman is a paradox}

The entirety of woman is a paradox. Complexly simple at times and at times infuriatingly simply complex. Different from each other, but very alike at the same time–same in their difference. Strong, yet weak. Hard, yet soft.

She may be simple in her likes and tastes, because she knows what she wants. Simple pleasures thrill her. But by the same turn, she enjoys things complicated, things that bring a challenge, things that test her, that may even bring her pain. She is the same as the next woman and yet almost entirely different. She experiences the same feelings, the same burning desires, simple passions, simple wants, the same frets, the same worries, the same doubt, yet how she acts on them, yet her reasons for them may be totally different. These simple passions and wants may be like a whelming flood, overtake her and drown her in the current. She may be ruled by her emotions, consumed like a fire, in a split second. In the next second, she has returned to composure.

| Mae Lue, Thereafterish

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Bloglovin | Tumblr | RSS

{Meet & Greet} Join Me at Embrace Yoga in D.C.

For those of you in the DMV area, I'm inviting 15 of you to join me for a private group yoga session at Embrace Yoga in DC on Saturday, July 13 at 9:30 AM.   Embrace Yoga is located in Adams Morgan at 1650 Columbia Road NW, Washington DC, 20009.

Click here to view the invite.

EMBRACE with Faith Hunter Yoga is a vinyasa inspired yoga loft that serves as an urban refuge to celebrate life, love and soul freedom through the practice of yoga and community. This modern-yogi haven is a place to have fun in the practice while connecting to the divine love in your heart. http://embracedc.com/

I've arranged for a private group BEGINNER session. Beginner vinyasa flow classes provide a safe space for new students to learn yoga basics and breathing techniques. The class is moderately paced, alignment based, and thoroughly instructive. 

Space is limited. There are 15 spots available and the cost is $17 for the class.   If you're interested, you can reserve your spot here.

I'm looking forward to meeting some of you and I'll warn you that I give big bear hugs and I have really long arms.

If you can't make this one, there will definitely be more to come.  Luv ya.  xoxo

Sheena // Soulful Beauty of the Week

"What I felt though, throughout my struggles was a small pulse inside of me. Some call it their inner voice or wisdom. It could be your intuition or your god-like spirit. Whatever it is, that pulse would hit me at the oddest times and I got to a point where I realized I could either choose to just end it all or decide to take FULL responsibility for my life."

| Sheena

*Describe your a-ha moment.
I’ve had numerous a-ha moments. The most significant one was somewhere between ’05 and ’07. I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. I was dealing with the death of someone close to me, the after effects of being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the shattered remnants of being raised in a suppressive cult. By this time, I was one drink away from being an alcoholic, one breakdown away from being committed and one complacent decision away from literally hand delivering my soul to the devil.

What I felt though, throughout my struggles was a small pulse inside of me. Some call it their inner voice or wisdom. It could be your intuition or your god-like spirit. Whatever it is, that pulse would hit me at the oddest times and I got to a point where I realized I could either choose to just end it all or decide to take FULL responsibility for my life. I could keep crying over my father’s sins or I could claim my divine right to prosper and thrive. The a-ha moment wasn’t when I started to change. The a-ha moment was realizing I had the power of choice.

*What’s your best piece of woman-to-woman advice?
Embrace yourself fully. Own your desires and your choices. Live your passion. Be your authentic self always. Thrive. Push. Excel. Try again. Be messy. Laugh a lot. Own your power and your vulnerability and your truth. Use your voice. Take risk and be courageous and move through your fear. Think powerful things and act! Your life will be exactly as you create it to be.

 

*What has been your favorite mistake?
This question is tough. I can’t think of “mistakes” or “regrets”. Oh wait, okay, I have one. Sometimes I do online dating and I thought I was being cute and quirky yet sassy and sexy by having this sarcastic yet creative profile description.

So on this one part you are to fill in the blank. “Message me if….” Being me, I put, “Message me if….you think you are a little left of center.” I thought it was just a cute little thing to say. Yeah, that’s not how it read online. I had all kinds of “special” people messaging me. Lesson Learned.

Don’t try to do that with your profile. Be direct, intentional and use a subtle sense of marketing to weed out the crazies. Don’t reel them in because you want to be funny. My profile has been edited about five times now and I finally got it down pat to where it shows my profile and attracts the right kind of person.

*So far, what has been the most challenging aspect of being a woman?
The most challenging aspect of being a woman is living fully in my sensual and sexual authenticity. I have no problem being vocal and expressing my desires whether it's towards a lover, or my interest in fetishes or my love of pole dancing and sensual movement. The challenge is living in a culture that considers most aspects of a woman’s sexuality taboo. I live in a culture that wants me to be quiet, pleasant, complacent and to behave myself. Every day I’m pushing against these belief systems that seek to suppress, repress and deny me. It’s a fun challenge though. It’s a sexy challenge.

*What do you not want us to know?
When I’m done taking my shower, I have to QUICKLY dry my feet off. I have this “thing” about my feet being wet. By “thing” I mean, unless I’m in the process of taking a shower or I’m in a body of water, I get really squirmy if my feet are wet. It’s similar to having wet socks when it rains. No one likes that. For me, it’s the same kind of sensation and I don’t like them.

*When do you feel most creative? What inspires you?
I feel the most creative when I’m living sensually. By that I mean, when I’m engaging my senses very presently. If I really take the time to eat my breakfast, to fully taste the strawberry and to note its color and texture, I can’t help but create a poem or to take a picture or write a blog post about my sense of taste. If I’m being sensual and really feeling the wood floor beneath my feet as I dance, my feet start doing awesome things, which leads my body to doing amazing freestyle dances. That creativity started with just being present with the way my sense of touch engages with the world around me. I feel creative when I’m cooking, blogging or kissing a man. I always feel creative. Also, everything inspires me. Literally everything. If my pearls are sitting on my dresser and the light hits it just right, I’m inspired to take photos. If I see a color and the wind blows, I’m inspired to create an event or workshop. If I go on a date, I’m inspired to learn more about human behavior, desire and love. I always feel creative and everything and everyone inspires me.

*What does it mean to you to be a soulful beauty?
A soulful beauty lives her authentic truth. She understands her power, her grace, and her vulnerability. She understands her confidence and her self worth. She is open, compassionate and also a firecracker. A soulful beauty has that “it factor.” You are drawn to her. She is a Divine Siren in touch with her eroticism and spirituality. She entices you with subtlety and brazen boldness. A soulful beauty is a wild, magical woman.

*What is your favorite quote, scripture or affirmation?
I have so many. I'll give you a couple.

“As if you were on fire from within.
The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” ― Pablo Neruda

"Sexuality is the soul of the creative process and that erotic expression of any kind is a personal revolution." – Susie Bright

"To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread." ― James Arthur Baldwin

“We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way.” ―  Audre Lorde

Name: Sheena LaShay
Age: 28
Website: http://sheenalashay.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/sheenalashayllc
Twitter: http://twitter.com/sheenalashay

Youtube: http://youtube.com/sheenalyoung

Instagram: http://instagram.com/sheenalashay

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/sheenalashay

 

Love this series?  You can check out the other Soulful Beauties that I've featured here.

How to Be the Most Awkward Girl In the Room

source

I'm quite certain that there are a lot of awkward moments in my near future. 

This may seem like a strange thing to say, but I'm calling it because I'm embarking on a new adventure and with the new comes the awkward.  It just does. I might as well decide how I'm going to handle it.  Yup, I actually need to master it. I have a lot to learn.  Mistakes to make. People to meet.  Criticism to get used to.  Plenty of first times.  Awkward.  Awkward.  Awkward.

The only way I'm going to get through all of this is to build up a tolerance to being uncomfortable.  No fight or flight.  Just me, my weirdness and my determination to grow. 

I've always been a self-conscious person. My plan for turning this supposed liability into an asset is to exploit it.  Take its power away.  I'm not going to dive into my new creative life pretending to have it all figured out and denying that there will be bumps in the road.  I'm anticipating that I'll be uncomfortable often and with practice I'll learn how to exist in those moments and tolerate them graciously.

I don't know why people get embarrassed so easily.  I'm sure it started when we were children and we got laughed at and teased.  But as adults, it's imperative to get over that fear in order to expand your life.  There's absolutely no way around it.  Some of us are more sensitive to criticism than others.  Some of us create our own self-criticism and become painfully anxious based on what we think others are thinking about us.  The key to overcoming this is to start thinking of your individuality as an advantage and not a liability. 

As I approach this new and incredibly vulenerable phase of my life, I'm still acutely self-conscious.  But instead of bemoaning it, I'm going to make it work for me.  You can too, you know.  If you consider yourself to be a bit socially awkward or a bit anxious -- consider the following concepts that can help with not only big life changes but also everyday challenges. 

Change how you think about your eccentricities.   Key words: Change. How. You. Think. I used to always feel like a sore thumb when I'd go out dancing with a bunch of short friends.  I'm 5'9", so I'd be the tall, gangly one flailing about in a circle of smaller women.  Height is not necessarily an eccentricity, but it's something that made me uncomfortable for a long time.  Eventually I realized that I'll never be short.  So, why not figure out how to be tall in the most GG-licious way possible?  You are who you are, so shift your thinking so that your qualities empower you instead of impairing you.

Remember that you don't have to do what everyone else is doing.  I suspect that a lot of our awkwardness comes from trying to fit in and do what we think is expected of us.  If everyone is talking and you don't have anything to say, don't feel obligated to talk.  When I force myself to talk - I always spaz out and say things that drive me crazy later.  Why did I say that?  I hope no one took it the wrong way.  Did I cut her off?  Was I talking really loud?  Did that sound stupid?  Did I just spit on that guy?  Whether you choose to be the life of the party or sit in the corner with a book, do it confidently knowing that it's exactly what you want to be doing.

Don't overthink.  I know. This is like saying don't stare at funny looking people.  But overthinking warps everything.  Learn to be strategically and peacefully in the moment.  This requires self-acceptance.  I might be wondering how my breath smells or if I have a booger in my nose, but I know that if I focus on those things, I'll become more and more 'thinky' and visibly frazzled.  The best thing you can do is to not wonder too much about how everyone sees you.  Instead, take a deep breath and think only about being yourself. 

Give yourself permission.  What's the worst thing that can happen?  Instead of listing all the socially awkward moments I've had as examples, I'll suffice it to say that embarrassing things happen to everyone and the more you own your fumbles, the more comfortable you and everyone else will feel. Allow yourself the wiggle room to be a little left or right of center and be happy there.  Laugh at yourself.  Call yourself out.  Learn to love the fool in you, as Thomas Rubin says:  

"...the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects you against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom you also harbor and who would rob you of human aliveness, humility and dignity if it wasn't for your fool."

Be every woman.  Embrace your paradox. You are confident and uncertain. Weak and strong.  Straightforward and backwards. All of the above and none of the above.  The best thing you can do to make your complexity work for you is to know yourself intimately.  When you know who you are, the things that make you unusual are the same things that also make you magical.

The best way to be the most awkward girl in the room is to do it on purpose.  With intention and creativity, decide for yourself how you want to exist, how you want to feel and how you want to express yourself.   Let yourself be vulnerable.  Let the people who don't like it go, and let the people who do like it stay so you can build productive, authentic relationships. The kind of relationships that make you feel safe and beautiful and ironically, not the least bit awkward. 

 

Have a great week!  xo

 

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Bloglovin | Tumblr | RSS

Simple {Freedom} Friday

It's Simple Freedom Friday! If you'd like to participate on your blog, simply create your own post about something that makes you feel free and then leave a comment here that includes the link to your post. 

 

Simple Freedom:
I feel free when I change my mind without feeling guilty.

 

 

 

This week, I didn't like the name of my Monday inspiration post, so I changed it a few days later. But for the first couple days after I published it, I was not feeling it and I felt weird about changing it.  It just kept bothering me.  Then it finally occurred to me, who says I can't change it?  So, I did.  Simple.  

 

Sometimes we make life harder than it is.  Initially, I was worried that changing it would seem unprofessional.  Or confusing in some way.  But then I stopped caring.  I realized that I have the flexibility to change my mind as much as I want on this blog.  This is my creation.  The only thing keeping me from doing what I wanted was a limitation that I made up in my own head.   Silly rabbit.

 

For all of you who don't blog, I'll explain why the title is so important.  The title of a post can make a huge difference in whether or not your work gets read.  If it's compelling and relevent and says clearly what the post will be about, it's more likely to peak the readers' curiosity.  I happen to like quirky post titles, so sometimes I take it too far. If the title seems too plain, then I'll rack my brain to come up with something more creative - particularly for Monday posts.   And this can result in a title that's too busy and you can't tell what the heck I'm going to be talking about. 

 

That's what happened on Monday.  And I feel so much better now that I've changed it to something that is much more straightforward, but still persuasive.  "When Am I Going to Stop Doing This to Myself?"  makes you want to know what exactly I keep doing to myself and just maybe if you have something that you keep doing to yourself, this title will compel you to give it a click with the hopes that you'll find some advice or comfort therein.

 

This is just one example of how changing my mind makes me feel free.  But this ain't just about a blog title.  This is about life.  Of course it is, because it's me and I relate every little thing back to the main stage of life.  If you feel stuck living a life that doesn't suit you anymore, you can change it.  You don't need to be embarrassed about changing your mind.  You don't need to worry about how it will look to other people.  Your life is yours to create.  Even if you're not sure of exactly where the road will take you.  Take the journey anyway. 

 

Grow.  Change your mind.  Grow.  Change your mind.  Progress isn't possible without change.  (tweet this)

 

 

What have you changed your mind about lately???

 

 

 

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Bloglovin | Tumblr | RSS