Tuesday, June 21, 2016

how to feel comfortable in your skin


source

Be authentic and human and nuanced.  Look for ways to show more of your inside world on the outside.     

Learn from nature.  It doesn't apologize for living out its purpose.  You are made of the same miracle, crafted by the same spark.   Settle into what roots you.

Don't force yourself to do what's popular.  Stand alone gracefully.

Discover what you like.  Dress the way you want.

Surround yourself with people who love you the way you are and want to see you grow.

Practice being more honest, more vulnerable and straightforward about what matters to you.

Find your rhythm.  

Give yourself more space, more time alone, to explore who you are.

Learn how to do something that you think you can't do.  Fail however many times it takes until you get it right.  

Align your actions with your truth.

Say yes to yourself and know your worth.

Don't be ashamed of your shadows and sharp edges.  Use them to enhance your understanding of Life and Self.

Nothing about you is a mistake.

Love yourself through your struggles and messy days.

Remember growth is the goal, not perfection.

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Over the last few years, I've been steadily stripping away the requirements and ideas that were stuck in my head making me feel uncomfortable in my skin.  Reading Alicia Key's recent essay and seeing her look more gorgeous than ever in her bare skin has made me love her even more and has been timely for my journey.  How has societal pressure to look perfect contributed to you holding yourself back and feeling uncomfortable in your skin?

If you can relate to this one, you might also like:  Loving Yourself Naked,  A is for Appearance, Real Life is Not Picture Perfect, Obsessed with Beauty

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Thursday, June 9, 2016

4 stages of self-discovery + a free summer series




Many of us spend our lives wishing for things. Wishing to win the lottery, wishing for a new way of life, wishing all the time and feeling helpless to create our own change.

Many of us suffer for years (sometimes our whole lives) feeling lost and unmotivated, thinking that we were just made that way.  Even when we dream our dreams and set our goals, we may subconsciously make them safe and predictable, relying on what we see others doing to guide us.

Some believe you should only pursue dreams that you know for sure you can achieve.  Others believe that success lies in the growth that occurs from stretching beyond what you know and outside of what is comfortable for you.

I'm with the others.


Monday, June 6, 2016

writing the layers workshop // DC // june 26




Registration is now open for my next in-person workshop in DC on June 26!  I also have a couple spots available for my next virtual one on June 15.  Find out more, watch the trailer video and register here.   This workshop is based on my Writing the Layers workbook and is designed for women who want to use writing techniques to discover deeper levels of self-awareness and expression.  Live attendees receive a copy of the book and our sponsor Goodnight Darling Co. is providing goodies for everyone to take home!  Email me at ggrenee at allthemanylayers dot com with any questions.



Thursday, June 2, 2016

you're a genius and the world needs your gift




Don't be intimidated by people you think are smarter or more talented than you.  You're a genius in your own way.  Discovering that genius and how to share it to make the world a better place -- that will be your life's work.

I found that quote awhile back as I was browsing through the archives of my old blog.  I don't know about you, but sometimes I still catch myself looking for validation, for some external proof that I have a meaningful purpose and I matter.  I need to be reminded everyday to be myself, love myself and trust myself.

So much happens in this world that I don't understand, but I know there is a bigger, more infinite picture that we as humans can't fathom.  So the way we are made, the experiences we have, the way we see the world, the things we are good at, the things we are curious about and inspired by -- they aren't random.  And with this belief, I can look at the world and feel waves of wonder and gratitude.  I feel like I'm part of a great big, beautiful story and I just want to explore it and contribute and be as true as possible to my role.

I also want to write about all of it.  What about you?  Do you have the same desire to write?  If you do, then you probably also have the same nagging doubt that maybe your perspective doesn't matter.

You are the expert on being you. No one else in the world has the unique slant that you do.  So just like that, you are the expert on writing your stories and highlighting what connects you to your audience.

Instead of thinking:

“Who am I to share my opinion on this topic or offer my advice? What if I’m wrong? What if someone disagrees or thinks I sound stupid? What if someone thinks I’m a fraud. I don’t want to sound like a know-it-all.”

Try thinking:

“This is who I am and how I feel at this moment. I don’t need anyone’s permission to feel this way or to say these things because this is written from my vantage point.  I am allowed to speak with conviction, articulate my thoughts and feelings, and I'm also allowed to grow and change my mind.”


Friday, May 27, 2016

a truth moment with jamie





I was quite stressed after I had my daughter. I also believe I was dealing with a little postpartum depression, and I was super tense. I didn't talk to anyone about it, partly because I'm generally not the type of person to vent about my problems, but mainly because I felt guilty for feeling the way I did. For a few months, my husband and I barely spoke. It got so bad that he asked me if I still wanted to be with him. That was a huge wake up call. His question coupled with me not liking how I felt and how I was living led to me to doing something to change it.

I began venting in my journal and asking Spirit for help. I created affirmations around how I wanted my life to be different and read numerous blog posts on marriage. I began working on myself, changing my mindset to a positive one and being a more loving spouse. Additionally, I began doing yoga more regularly and meditating. The change didn't happen overnight (I'd say it took a few months), but because of those things: journaling, praying, affirmations, yoga, and meditation, I'm a much calmer, peaceful, and happier person.

Even though I teach women how to create calm, I struggle with it sometimes myself. I think that because I'm an introvert, I'm naturally an overthinker, which leads me to worrying. And I'm also a recovering control freak, so there are still times I kind of freak out when things don't work out how I think they should. Fortunately, I'm a lot better at not allowing circumstances to stress me out than I used to be.  But as the saying goes, 'We teach what we most need to learn.'


Follow Jamie on Instagram and Twitter @blackgirlcalm and visit her website Black Girls Guide to Calm.





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I got away from doing features for awhile because I knew I wanted to change things up but I wasn't sure how. So I'm excited to welcome them back now in a new format. A Truth Moment is a series capturing our reflections, confessions and discoveries, no matter how big or small. If you submitted a piece for #writewordsthatmove that hasn't been posted yet, it will be posted in this new series. If you would like to share a moment, submission details are here and you can follow along with the series here.

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

chapter 13: she never dares to be too happy



Ever since her mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, she has been worried that she would face the same fate.

Caught up in the cycle.

Making up lies to hide her mother's erratic behavior.

Pretending and concealing, believing her own stories.

Everyone lies, everyone pretends not to see, so why shouldn't she?