DAY THREE
If self-care is self-love in action, then we must keep in mind that awareness is key and we all have different needs. One person’s approach to loving themselves through self-care may be quite different from the next person. It’s a vast and flexible term. Stated simply, self-care is how you take care of yourself, inside and out.
How we take care of ourselves includes every aspect of our lives because it's all connected. Your financial health can affect your mental and physical health. The way you show up in your relationships can affect your emotional health and professional life. The way you eat affects your physical and mental health and more. This is why we must look at self-care holistically.
While researching for Self-Care Check-in, I came across many different definitions and perspectives on the topic. These are just a few quotes that particularly resonated with me.
authentic self-care
Author and activist Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” In an article for The Guardian, the writer says, “Lorde’s ideas about self-care were picked up by many in queer, feminist and activist circles. Caring for yourself became a way of preserving yourself in a world that was hostile to your identity, your community and your way of life.”
Lorde’s work inspires me to do what I have to do to take care of my physical and mental health, so I can be strong and resilient against adversity.
Author and wellness educator Lalah Delia said, “Some of us ran so far away, during a period of survival, that we forgot to come back home to ourselves. Return home to yourself. You are safe now.” She describes self-care as “how you take your power back” and remember your true nature.
In her book, Vibrate Higher Daily, Delia inspires me to take care of my spiritual health so I can show up in the world aligned and walking in my purpose, no matter the terrain.
Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolen, author of Goddesses in Everywoman said, “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”
Dr. Bolen inspires me to nurture my creative and sensual self-care because it’s what invigorates my spirit and makes me feel most alive.
Finally, author and poet Alex Elle said, “Be you, love you. All ways, always.” Both profound and simple, I love this quote for how it encompasses my personal approach to self-care. To be myself and love myself, in every way, all the time.
That simple testament helps me in difficult moments when I’m tempted to go against my truth to satisfy some external expectation or when I want to avoid something that I know will benefit my well-being.
It’s a beautiful and easy mantra to keep close.
unpretty and unexpected
It’s important that you come away from this course knowing that self-care isn’t necessarily pretty and it doesn’t always feel good — at first. Mammograms can be stressful and uncomfortable, but they are essential for a woman’s long-term well-being. Having a difficult conversation may not seem relaxing, but in the long-term, it relieves stress and helps your relationships.
As I pointed out yesterday, we may not initially recognize certain habits as acts of self-care. My mother had a strict and ritualistic cleaning routine. Every Thursday night, she cleaned the house from top to bottom. During my teen years, my mother and I practiced Judaism, so I saw this as a chore associated with her preparation for sabbath.
But this was more than a chore. In hindsight, when I think about the religious way she went about it, how focused she was during and after; I know this was spiritual self-care. She may not have felt like doing it every time, but she was consistent and it always had a calming effect on her mood. As a schizophrenic, her moods were wildly unpredictable, but preparing for and conducting the sabbath rituals soothed her. I see this so clearly now.
Your self-care might look quite different from mine, but this course is about developing a self-care mindset. In the journal, you will be presented with 125 different creative exercises that you can experiment with and explore. That’s where the concepts we’re covering now become specific. My hope is that you will try all of the exercises and come away with several that you adopt long-term into your intentional self-care practice.
Your unique, authentic nature and your willingness to stretch will determine which exercises resonate with you the most. Some will stimulate and inspire you more than others. It’s a heart-opening process of surrendering to the work and seeing what it reveals to you.
You will figure out your authentic self-care strategy by doing, not just thinking about it. Journaling is such an excellent tool to facilitate this because whatever is in your head, writing allows you to bring it into form so you can see and process it clearly. From there, you can create with it, you can discover themes and patterns of behavior, you can learn about yourself and grow. There’s endless potential in that.
After reading today's insights, reflect on the questions below and share your thoughts with us on in the comments.
reflection questions
Look up quotes about self-care and find one that resonates deeply or enlightens you in some way. Write down what it means to you.
What chores or responsibilities do you count as self-care that you may not have considered that way before? How do these activities support your long-term wellness?
In what ways have you had to defend or speak up for your self-care needs?
Look at your current routine and choose one self-care habit that is crucial to your daily well-being. Why is it important? How does it make you feel?